Kerux: a portfolio of Calvin Theological Seminary - Volume 41.10 - 15 January 2007

The Josiah Initiative: Speak the truth in love

The third of a four-part conversation regarding the church’s need for renewal

by Jeffrey Vandermeer, Contributing Editor

Some of us have been called to be apostles; some to be prophets; some, evangelists; some, pastors; and some to be teachers. No matter who God has called us to be, we have all been called to speak the truth in love. What does that really mean, particularly with people who may be affected by pornography – with people who view pornography here at CTS. How might we do that?

Two articles have been dedicated to opening the conversation about pornography at CTS. Now the time has come to lay out the answers, to come through with the cure-all, the quick fix. I am afraid that we are sorely lacking in this area. We have ideas – we have thoughts – but it is going to take a community of people who believe that pornography must be rooted out, and that people who view pornography must be loved unconditionally to do this. Thus, speaking truth in love.

How do we do this?

Love

We talk about love so often, but how often do we truly love unconditionally? Do we really love the brother who shared his heart in "Confessions of a Porn Addict?" (Kerux, Dec. 4, 2006). What does it mean to love? Here are a few thoughts. Love is having patience with a brother or sister that fails, repents and then fails again, and repeats this cycle over and over again. Love is the kindness shown to the brother or sister that comes to you to tell you that his or her life has just been ruined by a confession of pornography.

Isn’t it interesting that we could see a confession of pornography use as a ruining of someone’s life? Do we really live in a culture that promotes unconditional love here at CTS?

Love is looking past even the gravest of grievances, no matter how much they may repulse us. Love gives hope when there is no more hope to be given. Love does not have our own intentions in mind, ever. Love is never quick to judge. Love never keeps a record of failings.

If we are really honest with ourselves, we realize that we don’t love unconditionally. I know I don’t. I wonder if an admission of that may be the place to start? Because when we realize and admit that we love a person who is different than us, with conditions, that is when true acceptance and love can really begin.

But what about truth? We are a community that is “always reforming,” a community that is on this endless quest for “the truth,” or at least a little better version of it. If we love everyone unconditionally without a clear sense of truth, are we really loving anyone at all? Speak the truth in love.

Truth

The Josiah Initiative is all about gaining freedom from pornography here at CTS. We are fundamentally convinced that if we can raise a group of leaders that are not viewing pornography, this will be good for the church, for the body of Christ, and God will be glorified. Here is what we are doing and are planning to do. Partner with us as we search for truth.

  1. We have invited Craig Gross from www.xxxchurch.com to come and speak at the Calvin College Chapel on Thursday, Jan. 18 at 7 p.m. Come and listen to what Craig has to say on “What is the deal with pornography.”
  2. On the same day, we are having a town hall meeting where we’ll talk candidly and openly about pornography and how it may affect the pastorate. We have invited Duane Visser, director of the pastor/church relations office, Ruth Boven, pastor at Neland Ave. CRC, and Dan VanderSteen, a counselor at the college’s Broene Center. Join us as we search for truth.
  3. On Tuesday, Feb. 6, the first Pornography Anonymous group will meet. This is a joint effort with the college. This group will be patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous, and will be moderated through the Broene Center. Meeting rooms and times are all confidential. Should you like more info, please contact Dan at dv23@calvin.edu.
  4. We have set up a CTS website, www.ctspornfree.org, featuring:
    1. A discussion forum for you to give us your thoughts on how we need to deal with pornography here at CTS
    2. A list of resources for any of you that would like to read more on this issue.
    3. A link to a counselor at the Broene Center, Dan VanderSteen, who is willing to talk to anyone with these issues
    4. An opportunity for you to help your fellow brothers and sisters find freedom from pornography, and an opportunity to gain some insight into how you may deal with this issue in your churches in the years to come
  5. We have issued the challenge to the CTS community to give us your insight. We are seeking freedom from pornography at CTS, and we need your help to do it. Please post your thoughts at www.ctspornfree.org.

So often truth is sought with little consideration of love. And other times, love is given unconditionally without truth, which doesn’t really love the intended person at all. To ponder as we all seek to balance truth and love: a quote from Henri Nouwen from his book The Wounded Healer, a person who wrestled with what it means to speak truth in love for his entire life (my apologies for the then-lack of gender inclusive language):

The Christian leader, minister or priest, is not one who reveals God to his people – who gives something to those who have nothing – but one who helps those who are searching to discover reality as the source of their existence. In this sense we can say that the Christian leader leads man in the classic sense of the word: to the basic affirmation that man is man and God is God, and that without God, man cannot be called man.

In this context, pastoral conversation is not merely a skilful use of conversational techniques to manipulate people into the kingdom of God, but a deep human encounter in which a man is willing to put his own faith and doubt, his own hope and despair, his own light and darkness at the disposal of others who want to find a way through their confusion and touch the solid core of life. In this context, preaching means more than the handing over a tradition; it is rather the careful and sensitive articulation of what is happening in the community so that those who listen can say: You say what I suspected, you express what I vaguely felt, you bring to the fore what I fearfully kept in the back of my mind. Yes, yes – you say who we are, you recognize our condition.