New Beginnings

A Summer Reflection

by Jim Kuiper, Middler M.Div. student

This summer I did my “broadening” or “multi-cultural” internship at Pine Rest Christian Hospital as a chaplain. The Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program at Pine Rest paired me with a very capable mentor chaplain who walked me through my paces in the different hospital wards, along with a good team of fellow seminarians also taking CPE. This group reflected with me upon my clinical experiences, meted out generous portions of tough love, showed me how I was goofing up, and then suggested ways I could do things better the next day on the ward. It was an invaluable experience. Some denominations make CPE mandatory for seminary study. I understand why.

I learned a lot about the mentally ill and about myself. I learned that the mentally ill are sitting in the pews of any church to which I might be called. I learned that the worshipping body of Christ is not complete without the mentally ill. I became more equipped to pastor people in pain. I learned never to lightly greet people in the mental hospital with “how are you doing?” unless the question is sincere and a half hour is allotted for the answer. I came to grips with some of my own issues that would keep me from pastoring well. I learned much in my CPE internship.

I return to campus after my first internship with mixed feelings. I am now officially halfway through my program. Sometimes I feel I have been here forever and then later I can’t believe it has gone so fast. I often think I would like to hang around for a few more years and take more classes, but my wife and kids are telling me “No way.”

I find it hard to constantly say good-bye to people here, and it is work to know the school differently, without the graduates. It is important work to prepare the heart to be open to new relationships with the fine new people who come in. The seminary is a dynamic, exhausting and invigorating community.

I have some new fears and some old fears in this new academic year. I fear sometimes that I truly have received some unknown brain injury that keeps me from learning what I must. I fear that I am getting too old to learn (does youth understand how intimidating it is?) or getting too old to justify my training for a shorter career. I fear that I will never get out of debt and secure some stability for my family. I fear that I will never functionally understand the vowel patterns in a Hebraic proclitic construction.

I have some plans for the new year as well. I plan to spend more family time this year than last year. I plan to preach more in area churches. I plan to take more time and be more organized with my homework. I plan to cook more creatively with the food pantry offerings, and I plan to pray long and hard that God finds a way to make all this happen.

May the Lord find me faithful, if not successful.

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