Faith is in the Cards

SemEye for the Evangelical Guy

by No One At All

With the 1998 film Rounders Matt Damon and Edward Norton brought poker into mainstream American culture. The decade since has witnessed the dramatic rise of online gambling and the transition of shadowy card sharks into tabloid celebrities and tabloid celebrities into overconfident gamblers with too much money and too little sense. Following their lead millions of amateurs have learned the rules of Texas Hold’Em in the faint hopes of becoming the next Doyle Brunson or Scottie Nguyen. An unfortunate few wind up in support groups after losing everything to the endorphin rush of the big bet. Most just lose a few bucks and a little pride. Meanwhile the industry rolls up huge profits and it’s easier to find cards being played on ESPN than baseball.

Now we would not be doing our job as Reformed Christians and wannabe evangelicals if we failed to jump on a secular trend ten years after the fact, but how does one go about redeeming a game so closely associated with addictions, alcoholism, absentee spouses, cursing, financial ruin and Las Vegas? What comfort can be offered the small child lying in bed with an empty stomach because mommy just needed one more hand to try win it all back? The answer, of course, is found in stickers.

Yes, faithful friends, there is good news to be found when the chips are down! Faith Chips are the new rage, letting bettors “ante up (and give your heart to him!)” or “call (on the name of the Lord!)” amidst the cigar-choked air of their Thursday night neighborhood game. These carefully constructed chips look and feel just like traditional clay counters, but double as tracts that no devout casino pit boss would fault you for slipping into a game here or there.

The only real question here is what exchange rate is appropriate between Faith Chips and their unsanctified counterparts. Mark 8:36 (“What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul?”) would seem a cautionary tale on the back of the reds, so you had better have four-of-a-kind on the board before you push in that shiny blue John 10:28 assurance of salvation. As the manufacturer’s warranty ought to note in the fine print, Romans 10:13 (“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved”) does not apply to begging for your mortgage payment back on a river inside-straight draw.

When you are ready to buy in Faith Chips are available at:
http://www.goodnewsclothing.com/faith-chips-100pack-p-353.html

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