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A Confession while Preparing a Sermon

A Confession while Preparing a Sermon

As I prepared my sermon, I was afraid. So I wrote down this prayer:

After preaching the heart of God,
If the worst case could be
If I perish, I perish. (Esther 4:16)

God accompanied me and comforted me,
In my countless darkest nights.
I had nothing,
So, I am not afraid of losing anything.
I come from dust,
And to dust I return. (Eccles. 3:20)

God treated me with grace and righteousness,
I don’t want to let Him down.
I have to say what He asked me to say,
Instead of pleasing people or proving myself.
No matter who I am talking to,
I will clearly deliver His heart and will.

When I return to dust,
The only thing I want is
some compliment from my Father.
I want Him to pat my head.

As for how other people think about me,
Doesn’t matter anymore.
As for how other people receive my sermon,
Is up to their relationship with God.
It is none of my business.

No matter in the future,
If I become famous and written in human history,
Or forgotten, abandoned, arrested by people.
No matter in the future,
If I travel around the world and become a great preacher,
Or settle down in a small village and shepherd only one soul. (Job 8:21, Prov. 16:3, 9)

It is well with my soul,
If my LORD doesn’t abandon me,
It is well with my soul,
If I am pleased in His eyes,
I will let go of how people might think about me,

If God means to equip me, I will study hard,
If God calls me to speak, I will speak clearly,
If God wants me to stay quiet, I will remain silent.

For I know this is His kingdom, His mission, His will. (Missio Dei)
And I am only a servant, not a Lord.
For me, I will fear Him in the days He has given to me,
I will be amazed and praise Him for His glory and deeds. (Eccles. 12:13)

I will fear no more for preaching,
Because I know He will made wise those who become fools,
I know He called me to preach because I am fool. (1 Cor. 3:18-23)

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. (Prov. 9:10)

-Debbie Jin


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